Super Bowl Monday - 5 Reasons Why You'll be Sorry You Watched the Super Bowl

You hate football or you love football. Either way, you ended up watching the big game on Super Bowl Sunday. Whether you went to a Super Bowl party, went to a sports bar with the gang or stayed at home, you saw the whole blooming thing –including the endless commercials! And the half time show! And the annual massacre of the National Anthem! Now it’s Super Bowl Monday and you are wondering why you thought it was a good idea.

5 Reasons you'll be sorry you watched the Super Bowl

Oh, if only you could go back to Saturday night and make a plan to do one of the 25 things that people who hate football do on Superbowl Sunday! But you let yourself be persuaded, and now it's Super Bowl Monday, and you have at least 5 reasons to be sorry you watched the Super Bowl!

#1 Reason to Be Sorry You Watched the Super Bowl: YOUR TEAM LOST!

You spent $300 on beer and pizza to throw a Super Bowl party and your favorite team lost! On Super Bowl Monday, your wife said you have to clean all the bathrooms, the spilled beer and the salsa stains on the rug! And, you have to take the dog to the vet because someone gave it too much beer. Not only did your team lose, but all the guys in the bowling alley who are fans of the other team are rubbing your nose in it. And you lost $10 bucks on the office football pool! Great Super Bowl Monday, alright! Ugh!

#2 Reason to Be Sorry You Watched the Super Bowl: YOUR TEAM WON!

Now that sounds like something to celebrate, doesn’t it? Well, duh! You did celebrate! You partied in the street. You shot off firecrackers. You drove up and down main street blowing your horn at midnight. You got picked up for drunk driving and spent the night in jail because your significant other was safely tucked in bed with the phone turned off. Oh yeah, you missed work on Super Bowl Monday, and your boss says you’re on VERY THIN ICE there. Do you regret watching the Super Bowl, yet?

• Commercials aired during the Super Bowl XLVI cost $3.5 Million for a 30 second spot.
• Commercials aired during the first Super Bowl cost $37,500 per 30 second spot.
• Super Bowls are measured in Roman numerals because the season spans two calendar years. Super Bowl 2012 is XLVI or number 46.
• Tickets for 2012 Super Bowl ranged from $2600-17,000. Each.
• Would you believe that someone paid $15,946, for a seventh-row seat on the 50-yard line at the 2011 Super Bowl?
• Super Bowl fans will eat around 1200 calories each during the Super Bowl and a total of over 69 million pounds of avocados will be consumed.
• A whopping 325.5 million gallons of beer will be drunk by Super Bowl fans.
• Super Bowl XLV was viewed by a total of 111,010,000 Americans. What will it be in 2012?

#3 Reason to Be Sorry You Watched the Super Bowl:
YOUR HEAD HURTS!

Sometime around half time you switched from drinking Budweiser and eating hot wings to drinking margaritas with the girls and eating seven layer bean dip with tacos and chili. Toward the last quarter, somebody decided to skip the mixers and go directly to tequila shots followed by a swig of beer. Owww…. Please don’t talk so loud on Super Bowl Monday!

#4 Reason to Be Sorry You Watched the Super Bowl:
YOUR STOMACH HURTS!

You have diarrhea, bloating, gas, and maybe worse. The mixture of cheese, pizza, hot wings, chili, guacamole, salsa, chips, pickled herring, pepperoni and quesadillas doesn’t seem to agree with you. Sometime in the middle of the night, you puked most of it up on the bathroom floor. Now THAT’s something to look forward to on Super Bowl Monday morning! (Interesting fact: 20% more antacids are sold the day after Super Bowl than the rest of the year!)

#5 Reason to Be Sorry You Watched the Super Bowl:
You'll YOU PASSED OUT AND WOKE UP KISSING THE DOG!

You passed out at Bubba's Super Bowl party, and woke up on Super Bowl Monday morning with his dog licking your face and his three kids staring at you. When you jumped up, you stepped in a bowl of half-eaten chili and tipped over a glass of flat beer. But you don’t have to worry about their rug as your pants soaked it all up. (Hopefully, you DID have pants on...) After that lovely wake-up call, you drive home to shower, change and get ready for work… oh,yeah, on Super Bowl Monday you were late for work AGAIN!

The week after Super Bowl has to be the biggest let-down of the year for football fans. The month of January was filled with media hype by sportscasters. Every grocery store, liquor store, discount store and sporting goods store was screaming at you to purchase food, snacks, beer, drinks, football jerseys, NFL logo paper plates and souvenirs. Every workplace had a football pool going. Every bar had a party. Most of your friends were either having a party or going to a party.

Football fans after the Super Bowl mope around like lost boys. Whether the favored team won or lost, the big game is over. The people who love football will resort to watching reruns of their favorite games. The people who hate football can happily go on with their lives.The NFL can count its money. The people who helped drink a zillion gallons of beer and 69 million pounds of avocados can go on a diet.

Looking back at it all, are you sorry you w thatched the Super Bowl by Super Bowl Monday morning?

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Copyright ©2012 Stephanie Henkel